we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Let's get the cat blown out
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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