sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
