Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
