now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
