We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
