nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
