found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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