somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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