This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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