K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
