I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
