Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My life is pants optional.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
