sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
