pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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