apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
soo... how was my night?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
