Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
