1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
