Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
