"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
