i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
