"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
