i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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