Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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