the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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