I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
