He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
