that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
