i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
