i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
