is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
