I have demons in me.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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