so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
