How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
