Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
