I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
