she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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