there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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