I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
