Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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