at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
