Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Randomize
