I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
