in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
