yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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