it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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