remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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