Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
the liver wants what the liver wants
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Randomize
