so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Your cock deserves a montage
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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