drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
