my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
