i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
